"Being alone never feels right..it feels good but it doesn't feel right"

12 am-Land back in LA from Chicago
3 am-Tambe, driving down to ruvrie's house, yummy cuddle party all night.
6 am-Free expresso shots from my favy starbucks barista, sunrise and tambe.
7 am-"Get ready for school." "I'm going back to bed, Ma." "...yeah me too."
12 pm- Coffee, back home, Coffee and tambe. Napnapnap.
6 pm-Dinner, napnapnapnapnap.
12 am-Shower, moleskine. Gn.

Dude are you serious?

Are you really going to assume that I'm going to latch on to you like some kind of parasite, sending my "other half" to check up on you? Did it ever occur to you that she might just actually care about me and wanted to know what was up? You act like I'm desperate for your attention and affection. Sure, you came to talk after five fucking years and I reciprocated the conversation. You started to step your game up and so I followed your lead. But for you to come off as some kind of above-all and think I'm willing to be a part of your fan club is completely fucking wrong. You talk like you're all of a sudden some big shot with bitches in line. I am not your fucking bitch nor do I even think I should begin to even feel like giving you the time of day. You can't just all of a sudden assume I'm clingy for getting concerned with the drop in communication. Of course I'm going to get fucking concerned if you disappear right after you all of a sudden sparked my interest and won my attention over. Take an overview over the past few fucking days.  Nonstop texts and sleeping on the phone day after day. The day I came over and saw you in person for the first time in half a decade. Do you expect someone to be perfectly habitual to the sudden change of routine? No. I'm not trying to be controlling and to have you by my side every waking moment of my life. You just need to realize what the fuck you want and how you're going to fucking do it. Figure it out.

Broke me the most

"Evelyn Yen.

Hey there little one. Hahahaha. It’s funny how I can call you that because you’re actually little. But, I am fascinated how a person as small as you can have such a huge heart filled with love and caring for a person. yes, I meant every word. It’s kinda hard to believe since you see me as an asshole as well but, I mean it. You truly did care about me. You loved me even without telling me. I am beyond sorry for unintentionally leading you on. I really didn’t mean to leave you just like that. I had so much fun hanging out with you. You always made me smile because you were just so tiny and cute hahahahaha. I liked how you always tried to find a way to talk to me even if you had to hide in a car or sign in on yahoo, or even hide under a blanket so that your mom or dad won’t know you’re talking to me. I truly appreciated everything you did for me. You never once gave up on trying. And i am sorry that I couldn’t really return the favor. I was stupid to believe you’d always be around. So that was a mistake I made. I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I thought I could never lose you but you showed me that everything can be lost. With enough pain, you can lose the ones who truly care about you. So thank you for sharing that mistake with me. Today I show my appreciation more clearly and I’m very thankful that you helped me get out my comfort zone and be more open with how I feel. I use to act nonchalant as if I didn’t care about the things you did for me but deep down I was really happy that someone actually cares enough about me the way you did. I’m sorry if it seemed like I just tossed you aside but I really did care about you. I chose someone who I can actually see and be with in person because that’s what I was looking for at that moment. I am deeply sorry for hurting you and treating you the way I did. Angela was right. You deserve someone better than a dimwitted asshole like me. I know you haven’t forgiven me for what I did. But the fact that you still talk to me when I say hi to you gives me hope that we can rebuild our fallen friendship. So, thank you for showing me how to appreciate someone who cares about me unconditionally.

With every word,
Jojo."

"you know how much i hate that and you know how much i hate the fact that every positive feeling i have ever had for you every good thing i have ever said about you i just cant i hate you evelyn i hate you"

Flirting is a dumb and embarrassing means of soliciting flattery, right? It's no triumph of charm to get a guy to think of you 'that way'

losing my being into metaphorical space in hopes of finding an attractive male inversely proportional to the distance separating our centers

Happy New Years

Can you not cower away and just man up and say what you want? Like what you display yourself to be? Gahdamn _|_ Quit beating around the bush and let me know your current stand point so I can just move the fuck on. Not your booty call, if you're just another hungry hungry hippo then just gtfo. Stop wasting my time, stop wasting your time.


Happy New Years though.