womp.

School if a huge pile of poop on my platter of life and my social life is down the drain as well. Not really, I'm just don't get around anymore. Doyle says to let go of the past and find a new group of friends to hang around with since he's not around Diamond Bar anymore. -sigh- I miss you, BabyD. I miss having someone to actually have a conversation with. A real conversation. I mean, I don't give a fuck if you had frosted flakes every morning for the past month, or if you bought a new pair of jeans that you love oh so much. I guess I'm content with who I'm around nowadays. Just fake a smile and pretend like you're interested..

Goodbye Summer

You end in less than a week. I feel like there should've been more to it, but whatevs. Been to new places, met tons of new people. Tis' great, experiencing more, learning more. I hope I actually do well in school this year instead of half assing everything a few months into it. School without Doyle, Kevin, and Mathias... I hope I can still have people as my guiding light. Here's to a great (or not) school year!

thankful.

4am, just sitting here. i wish everyone was still around. should've cherished the time we had with each other more than we did, cause serio, you dont know what you've had till' its gone, and its definitely gone, and it's hitting hard. thanks guys, you mean the world to me, really, scouts honor.

C'est bon.

i keep running away from things, as if i can run away from the action and feelings attached to them, it's not working.
my anxiety is subsiding & i'm trying not to pretend so much.
i dont like to feel his eyes on me when i look away or at any given time at all actually, cause i cant handle any of that right now, not from him at least. i love sleep. my life has the tendency to fall apart when i'm awake.

when we escape

i've got to this point where sometimes i really do think i'm accepting it, and then in just a matter of moments later - i'm back at square one, ground zero, the starting line.

stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.keep going.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.stop chasing.